I'm really into asian looking animals
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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