Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
