Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
