I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
