but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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