my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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