didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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