I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
