The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
