Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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