Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
