there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
