Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize