maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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