K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
