My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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