I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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