girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
