sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
