tell your sister to shave her snatch
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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