You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize