I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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