i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize