real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
