I feel like abortions should bother me more
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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