I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have fence marks all over my body
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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