I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Someone signed my nipple.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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