hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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