i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize