my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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