rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
