Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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