I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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