Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
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I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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