My nipple is on Facebook.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
