I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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