Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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