we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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