apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize