isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
