i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
