I faked an abortion last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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