apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
