dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize