I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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