I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We need a shit load of segways right now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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