she woke up with a sticky ear
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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