i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize