Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Your dad touched me again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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