Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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