hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
