I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
