His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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