could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
