just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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