would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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