at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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