well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
