If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
