would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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