try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
