I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
