He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
